He's Happy About the Divorce

I need to vent a little. OK, so it's been about 18 months since my world came crashing down on me. I should be used to the feeling, I suppose, however he still manages to surprise me. So a little over a week ago, I made the decision that my husband and I have to divorce. There's no other option. He's still active in his addiction, and was faking recovery. Ahhhh... OK, so tonight we were talking, and I asked him why he all of a sudden seems so calm and accepting of the separation and divorce. He told me that it's because he is. He said that if he's ever going to get into recovery, he needs to be away from the stresses of our family and do it on his own. He feels that's the only way for him to truely feel that he's doing this for himself. It's so completely rediculous! Now he's blaming us for his failure in recovery. Interesting, how he manages to do that... I can't help but feel that he should be having a "come to Jesus" moment right about now, taking a good, hard look at all he is loosing. Instead, he seems grateful to be rid of us.

Now, on the flip side, I am pretty grateful that I've made the decision to be rid of him. He's continued to put my health and safety at risk for long enough. I'm confident in my decision. So why do I feel betrayed that he's happy about it too? Why do I constantly feel like I'm loosing my mind? Why do I care about what he does or how he feels one way or another?